Paa’s Paa….

Published December 11, 2009 by Ambika

Yes.. that’s my grand pa.. ‘baba’ as I used to call him.. Someone I loved the most when he was with us..

I still do…

I was not only his only grand daughter.. but the only grandchild he ever had.. and like every grand father would.. he loved his little grand daughter the most!!

I played with him a lot.. He taught me how to play Chess.. Losing everytime to see me smile.. He was the one to teach my Solitaire, with cards, long long before I knew what a computer was.. He used to get me candies, toffees, chips and what not, everyday when he went out for his evening walk… I would wait for the time after lunch when he would recite a story to me. The same one, daily.. With equal excitement!!!

Everytime I excelled in school..I could see him swell with pride.. and go about announcing it to everyone.. One word against me and that person was sure to get a verbal thrashing.. Oh! How amused I used to get.. 😀

Yes. I had a true grandpa-granddaughter relation with him. and hey! we even used to kick-box 😉 and everytime it was ‘young bones’ who lost against ‘old bones’ 😆  That was the kind of equation I had with him!! 😀

I clearly remember how, after my Class X boards, I wanted to go on a vacation to my aunt’s place, and he just wouldn’t let me go.. I got annoyed..I fought..I cried..but wouldn’t go until he said ‘YES!’ from his heart.. Finally, surrendering before his only grand daughter’s wishes, he said YES!!

I ran and sang and danced.. How delighted I was, I can recall 😀 And so I went. I enjoyed a lot at my aunt’s place.. and when I returned after 24 days.. I was late, even for his funeral!!!

————————————————————————————————————–

It was then, that I realised, I had never understood him. He was a spiritual person. Very. Probably, he knew best!! But I couldn’t undo anything, no matter how much I tried.

I learnt a lesson.

Now, why him, today?

Not because I remembered him today after so many years! Obviously not. Just that I dreamt of him today. There, too, he went away without letting me know. Without letting me meet him for the last time. And I woke up with tears and was in a sombre mood for quite sometime.

I had dreamt a similar dream on the day I had returned after his death.. I don’t know for how long I shall deeply regret the entire thing and will have to live with it.

Forever, perhaps.

I don’t know why I’m writing all about it, here.. Just wanted to write it out, somewhere.. and this seemed to be the best place. Who knows he might as well read this post someday.. Technology can take us anywhere!!

P.P.S. [For baba]: I know you are there with us. Else you wouldn’t haunt me in my dreams, everytime. Infact, now looking at it, I think that’s the reason why I was lucky enough to come out only with a bump on my head, when I could have easily broken a few bones!!  😉  Miss you, always..

P.S. Its amazing how good I feel now. Thank you for being there through this very personal post.

Have a nice day, everyone..

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6 comments on “Paa’s Paa….

  • My heart felt condolences! It would have been even nicer if you shared a childhood photo of your and your grandpa.. I was trying to imagine u as a child only to realize that you still are a child in the heart!

    Kunal Janu

    • Just as what I had thought.. Neither did I find the scanned image, nor could I find the print photo of the one that I wanted to put up.. May be I will add one later when I find it!!
      Thanks for your comment!

  • thank u for sharing it…baba aise hote hain i never knew…be happy dat u had so much to share with with him….dont worry he’s always dere for u…whenever u’ll b happy he”l b happier dan u, and if u’l b upset he’l feel d same…but den he’ll show u d correct way..so u b happy always…..

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